Who am "I"

  Who am I? It is the most lacking question in our culture if you ask “ME.” The typical answer would read something like this- "Andie Milton insert school, degree, wife, mother, etc." The weird thing is that did not fully address the actual question. That reply only seems to answer "what?" not "who?'  Who am I? is better answered with “I am a deeply caring soul that wants nothing more than universal love and contentment.” The ironic part is I had to earn the last "what" title first. When the two most incredible souls chose me as mom that’s when my “what” became a “who.” They asked me the deep questions that only a newly minted human can. These questions dug at the “who” of “me.” 

Then we hit career day in first grade. I know it started out as a cute gimmick and honestly my girls loved it. It wasn’t until we hit fifth grade and each of my girls began to develop deep anxiety that the “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?” question started to really seem stupid. Why would you ask a fifth grader that? Then while these goons are figuring out body hair and pheromones the “what are you going to be?” was set on repeat for the next 7 years of their lives 40 hours a week. No one really noticed. The parents were navigating learners permits and proms, The kids were focused on whatever their generation was focused on. 

When my oldest started sixth grade I felt like I won the lottery. I took on another awesome new title “Mrs. Andie” and wow did it reveal me to ME. I became the service unit manager of my daughters’ Girl Scout service unit. That meant I was asked to protect and curate courage and confidence in several hundred girls and their corresponding moms, so that is what I tried to focus on. I quickly learned that a big part of that involved eliminating drama rather than stepping around it. You see every time I tried to avoid it, I fell into it, but when I laid out clear boundaries the drama could not break through. Almost like a weed barrier. The clearer the boundaries became the smoother the unit ran. 

I kept the role for almost a decade. In this time, I was able to see a connecting thread that ran throughout my baby girls. It was interwoven in “what am I going to be?” It manifests in so many ways depending on birth order, age, personality, etc. The variables were just so deep I honestly never expected to make sense of the data. 

Then while teaching an “Andie Camp”  finding purpose three "Ps" lesson (see below) it hit me like a freight train. The baby girls that still wanted to be what they said in grade school were suffering with “I have to get the grades” anxiety. They were convinced that college and the degree they were pursuing was for them. It was like their brain was on a “college, college, college….” Hell loop. On the flip side the girls that faced the “how the hell should I know?” question head on were suffering from depression. The moment I asked questions based on the “who are you?” rather than “what are you?” the career choices gave way to real insight on who they were. It was so surreal to see it so clearly. Once they shifted back to who questions they truly made headway on what they would like to try as a career. 

This is how I was finally able to answer my “WHO AM I?” My baby girls inadvertently led me to mindset coaching. I developed multiple modalities of my own through working with these incredible women that are one hundred percent based on me personally answering who am I!!! 

I could see the links between mothers and daughters. The anxiety and depression that both generations were too close to see. My thirty-thousand-foot view gave me so much insight into the human condition. The “who are you?” questions lead to real growth. They illuminate the boundaries that make up you and eliminate the paths set by others. They give real insight to why you are here and what your innate purpose for this consciousness might be.